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The Phrase That Changed My Life.

8/23/2019

1 Comment

 
I was standing in my kitchen today when I just had an endless stream of thought about this and I knew I needed to sit down and write about it today. The phrase that has changed my whole life. . . .


A few years ago someone gave me this phrase and it LITERALLY has changed every bit of what I’ve experienced since then. I honestly don't even remember who it was that told me this but I can tell you that the phrase has stuck with me for a while now. 

When you are going through something and you need fresh perspective try and think to yourself

“Will this matter in 5 years?”

If the thing that is bothering you about this situation or conversation will matter 5 years from now then it is worth giving your attention and time to. 

IF the problem you are looking at will NOT matter in 5 years then It doesn’t deserve your energy.

For example, 

The trash hasn’t been taken out today. You already asked 4 times. . . still it hasn’t been taken out. 

Will this specific bag of trash matter in 5 years? 

I mean yes if it stays there for 5 years that would be a problem. LOL 

but that isn’t the point. 

In 5 years will you remember that they didn't do the trash the second you asked? NO you won’t. You wont remember that they didn't take out the trash on February 2nd 2019

5 years later.


This is where the work of the phrase comes in,
What does matter is that 
YOU do not feel heard.

That feeling WILL matter in 5 years  if it continues to happen. 

The key is to use the phrase to look at situations where you feel frustrated and take the time to find the thing that is making you upset. 

In this situation the trash bag isn’t going to matter in 5 years.  If you don’t learn to speak about how you are feeling however, you are doing YOURSELF and the other person a disservice. 

So say the phrase to yourself.

Put up a post it note in your car, in your bathroom, in your closet, on your fridge. . .
“will this matter in 5 years.”


Next time you are struggling with something that is making you feel frustrated say the phrase aloud and see how it helps you process your problems differently.

I hope it changes your life the way it's changed mine.


Till next time -Jessica

​
1 Comment
Mind and Love link
8/24/2019 12:54:36 pm

Really loved how this post evolved into something that kept getting deeper and deeper until it hits the root of most issues. The trash is a great example of how we often misdiagnose the source of our own discontent. Like you said, it's not the trash but the feeling of being ignored. In my experience, remaining in touch with how we feel becomes the source of great communication with our partners. On the other hand, as long as we externalize our discomfort, we remain disconnected from our partners. Well done!

Roger

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    Mother of 3.
    almost 30.
    lover of the garden
    ​survivor of motherhood.

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